2 months, and then some....

Soooo it's been awhile! I have so many good intentions for blogging, and then life gets in the way. Life gets in the way A LOT with three kids.

Paige is 2 months, and then some, now. We were at the doctor last week and she weighs 11lbs 9oz and is 23 inches long! She is growing, but not too fast. She is in 0-3 month clothes and size 1 diapers.

Paige is a great baby. She sleeps through the night, which is anywhere from 6-8 hours at night. She has started going longer and longer so I'm sure it won't be long until we are at 12 hour stretches. Last night I put her down at 9pm and she didn't get up to eat until 5:30am. Sleep makes all the difference around here! 

She is super smiley and yesterday she was giggling up a storm at me. Dustin got out his phone to video tape her and she started crying. Of course. She is generally pretty content unless she is tired. That is the only time she'll let you hold her like a baby or against your chest, otherwise she wants to be facing out and watching what is going on around her.

Life is... busy.

Busy. Busy. Busy.

In fact, I just had to stop writing this to get a crying Paige from her room, and now she is eating. Speaking of, still breastfeeding, and she takes a bottle like a champ too, so if I need to go somewhere, D can be with all three.

Life.

Today was one of those days. You know, the kind where everyone is in tears when your husband walks in the door, including the dog.

Molly wasn't listening, as usual. She had a horrible morning at swim lessons and that just set the tone for the day. Actually, oversleeping set the tone for the day. Why do children ONLY sleep in when you need them to be up. Brooke was piggy backing off of Molly's shenanigans today. Paige was a little, immobile angel as usual, but taking care of her takes time. She eats every two hours.

The dishes were piled up, with fruit flies hovering over the pineapple from dinner last night. Yes, dinner last night. I can't even remember the last time I cooked a solid meal. It is generally something that can be thrown together in a minute and makes minimal dishes, like spaghetti or burgers. Or we have soup, sandwiches, cereal, chips, etc. In all honesty, most nights none of us eat together. The girls eat while I get things done. Dustin doesn't get home until between 6:30 and 7 and generally wants to do some yard work. I'll eat when I can fit some bites in between making the girls food and feeding Paige. It is my best time to do something around the house because by the time they are all ready for bed and sleeping, I am wiped.

The kitchen floor is covered in crumbs and bits of paper from who knows where. The carpet is in desperate need of vacuuming. Laundry needs done, and speaking of, there is a huge pile of clean laundry in my room that needs folded/hung up. My hanging flowers are all dead because I keep forgetting to water them. I think I fed the dog his breakfast. I also need to wash his bed because he threw up on it last night and it is still sitting in its spot. Did I shower today? I should probably finish my third book.

I've stopped expecting perfection from myself and my family. My house is lived in, not a show piece. Dishes in the sink, a pillow on the floor, and some crumbs in the corner is okay.

I wouldn't change this crazy life of mine. I am blessed beyond measure to be where I am with who I am with. But man are we busy... and tired. Blessed, busy, and tired.

3 Weeks Old

One of these days I'll update with more than just weekly posts, but... survival mode man.

Paige -- or Punky as I call her -- is 3 weeks old today! My how time is flying. We had a Pediatrician appointment last Wednesday and she was 9 pounds 2 ounces, which means she has gained almost a pound and a half since her appointment at 3 days old. Miss. Piggy!

Paige does best when she is moving. So say we are running errands, she is blissfully asleep... until the carseat stops moving. :) She mainly likes to be held. The other day I had her in the carrier and she slept for hours, snuggled against my chest. Yesterday Dustin held her while we painted pottery and she just stared around the room while he walked, for over an hour. She startles really easily so if I put her in her rock and play sleeper to nap she doesn't last too long. At nice I put her in a swaddle pod, and that helps.

At night she goes about 4-5 hours for her first stretch, and then 2-3 for the others. The main problem is that I tend to fall asleep with her while she eats, so my recollection of her schedule is pretty fuzzy in the morning. During the day I try to feed her every 2 hours, no more than 3 hours.

She likes to look around the room if she is laying on her back. The ceiling fan is still her best friend, but she'll give the windows, decorations, and maybe the fake plant a second look. :)

She is very aware of people, well faces, and will stare and stare and stare while you speak to her.

We went for our first walk on Friday. It was super nice out [finally!] and I picture many more walks to come!

The girls are still enamored with her. They still fight over her. And they still ask me one million questions a night about her.

Happy 3 weeks Paige!

Two Weeks Old: The After

Paige is two weeks old! Well, she was yesterday but I didn't have any free hands. And 7pm is the first time I'm finding free hands to write today.

I'm not sure how much she weighs [we go to her appointment tomorrow morning] but I wouldn't be surprised if she is nearing 9 pounds with the way she eats. If you breastfeed, you know how attached babies can be to mama! I feel like I feed her all day sometimes. She has been in size 1 diapers and her newborn clothes are getting a little tight. I could cry!

She only goes 2-3 hours at night, which is rough but eventually she will space that out. I know from having two older ones that I WILL sleep again. I always see these parenting things that say "You won't sleep for 18 years." I slept quite well from the time Molly slept through the night [which was before she turned one] until the uncomfortable portion of my pregnancy. Of course, there were phases where the girls would wake up and come into our room once or twice and we'd take them back to bed. And there are random nights they are up from a bad dream and such, but mainly, I slept. I know there is hope.

She gives me little smiles here and there, which are adorable. Nothing I can catch on camera though, mainly because I am too busy staring at her and talking to her as though she can understand me. She loves to lay on my chest and turn her head to look up at me.

We mainly spend our days in my bed, just hanging out and me napping when she naps. If I can get her comfy enough to sleep with me we can sleep for a good amount of time. If I put her in her rock and play sleeper she doesn't last long enough for me to feel rested.

The After. My shortened terminology for these two weeks after giving birth. I have already forgotten what it was like to be pregnant, which is amazing considering how uncomfortable the end was. It is amazing how all of that just straight up disappears after childbirth. Even using the restroom feels strange because you can't remember what it was like to have to pee every 5 seconds.

The After is full of sleepless nights, roller coaster emotions, baby snuggles, and more that I can't think to name. I already miss my pregnant belly and cling to each moment I have with my baby girl, as I know all too well how fast they grow.

You spend 9 months of pregnancy planning and fantasizing about your baby. You count down the days until your due date, and sometimes it feels like your gestation is that of an elephants. LONG. Then your baby arrives and suddenly you realize there is no more countdown or waiting. Of course, you wait on each milestone and enjoy each stage in a child's life still. It is kind of daunting, sitting in bed late at night and thinking "what now?" and realizing it is no longer go into labor but life.

I have a daily thought journal for Paige's first year of life. Some things I've written down...

Your best friend is the ceiling fan.

Paige definitely knows her mama. It is easy to see when she is handed back to me or when I pick her up when she is fussing. But man, the ceiling fan gets an equal amount of interest through out the day. And it isn't even moving!

You talk in your sleep.

Okay, babies can't really talk, but they have a wide range of noises they make. She makes the cutest newborn noises while she sleeps and sometimes it lasts for an hour. It isn't so great in the middle of the night when we are trying to sleep.

You are SO alert.

Paige has been very alert from day one. She startles awake easily and doesn't nap for long. If you sit and talk to her she will just stare and stare for over an hour. She has also been able to life her head since day one.

Home

Paige is now one week old! Well, she will be in a little under 3 hours. Isn't she cute?

Being home has gone well so far. The girls are still in school all day so it's just Paige and I until about 5:30. Today is the last day that Dustin will be picking them up from school for me [their school closes at 5:15 and he generally works until 6:30] so I'll have to manage going there, dragging Paige inside, and bringing them all out. We made the decision to keep the girls home this summer to save some money, and I have already concluded that outings with out Daddy will be few and far between!

Speaking of sisters... they sure do love baby Paige! A little too much. Since they've been in school all day they haven't really had too much time to spend with her. Brooke had dance on Thursday night and then on Friday night Dustin took them both to a baseball game. When they are around her they both kind of "fight" for her attention. They have yet to find a way to look at her that they both find equal. Even in the picture above you can see Molly pouting because Brooke was singing a lullaby and she wanted to sing hers.

Paige can be very alert. Just ask her newborn photographer, who has the patience of a saint and spent 5 hours with us yesterday trying to capture pictures. I am pretty positive that Paige slept for less than an hour of that, and it was all in spurts.

I've spent most of the first week just holding her and cuddling her. Since she is my last, and I already know just how quickly babies grow up, I've been trying to enjoy every moment. I did have to leave the house on Friday to take her to a Pediatrician appointment on my own, and it made me realize I still have some healing to do, so I've been taking it easy. One week olds don't really have a schedule but she does okay at night. Last night she went in 3-3.5 hour spurts before needing to eat, and I actually woke up feeling rested. The first few nights were pretty rough.

I can tell that the "hormonal slump" is starting to set in. The adrenaline from birth has worn off, and now the emotional roller coaster begins. I have been on anxiety medication since the beginning of my pregnancy, so I've been curious to see how everything goes. The nurse told me that I might need a higher dose for awhile since my body has adjusted to what I am on now. It is worse at night so I always look forward to going to be and waking up to a new day.

Happy One Week, Paige! You are the perfect addition to our family. 

Paige Taylor | 4.21.14

Paige arrived on Monday, April 21st. She is currently sleeping away by my side, making those soft little baby sounds I love so much. On to the birth story... If you want to skip the lead up and such, skip to the picture.

I had an appointment last week on Thursday, and the OB I saw that day checked me. I had been checked at the appointment two weeks prior and I was almost 3cm and 50% effaced so I was curious to know what progress I had made. I had been having painful contractions all week but not enough to do anything. He told me that I was 4cm and almost 100% effaced and asked if I wanted to go on my own or be induced. I told him that we were fine with an induction so he left the room to see when my specific OB was on call. When I left the room he said she was on for Monday and he would have a nurse call me to schedule the induction if she was comfortable with it.

The nurse called that afternoon and started with, "I doubt you'll make it to Monday..." and said my doctor wanted to induce me and they planned to start at 7am, but I needed to call at 6am to see if they had a bed.

Being able to plan for her actual birthday was kind of strange. In one sense, it was great. We had everything ready to go, a plan for the girls that didn't include throwing their schedule off in the middle of the night, and I was able to have a spotless house to come home to. In another sense, it was a little more emotional. I kept thinking of all my lasts and how quickly it was all coming to an end. If I had just gone into labor on my own there wouldn't be much time to think or dwell on things, but I had a whole weekend. I willed my body to make it to Monday as well because I really didn't want to be in the hospital on Easter.

Sunday night we dropped the girls off at Dustin's parents. Monday morning arrived. I woke up to use the bathroom at 4:30am and was wide awake. I watched TV until 6am and called the hospital. They had pushed back my induction to 9am, which suddenly felt like days instead of two hours. Dustin was blissfully sleeping and I woke him up at 7am to start getting ready. He was so calm and collected and I was practically jumping on the bed yelling "It's baby day!!" We loaded the car, did a few last minute things, and we were off! Dustin mentioned that he needed to take something to the bank at 9 so I had him drop me off at the hospital to check in while he did that. It was so strange passing L&D triage and being taken directly to a room.



Everything seem to start off so slow. There was paperwork to go over, information to enter in the computer, an ugly hospital gown to put on. At 10am the nurse tried to put my IV in and blew my vein, so she put a call in to IV recovery hoping they could do it better. They didn't come up until 10:30 and she had to put it in my hand, which is where no one wanted it, but oh well. My OB decided they would do pitocin and break my water together and see if that got things moving quickly. The nurse hooked up a small dose of pitcoin at 10:45 and then got word that my doctor was headed back into a c-section so we would have to wait on breaking my water. We decided to walk the halls instead of just sitting in the bed for awhile, since it helps pass the time. I felt some stronger contractions but nothing that was truly painful. I could tell the pitocin was doing something though.

I passed my doctor around 11:45 and she said she was going to grab lunch real quick. I thought that was kind of funny but didn't say anything [now I know why, which I'll get to later]. We ended up back in the room at 12 thinking she'd be up soon. Did a few more laps, ate some ice chips. She came up at 12:45 to break my water. It was the first time I had been checked and she told me that I was almost 6cm and baby's head was low. She broke my water, which there was A LOT of, and that was an odd feeling. I texted our photographer my progress. I didn't want her to just have to sit in my room and do nothing!

The nurse was very adamant that if I wanted an epidural I needed to tell her right away. It was around this time that I got the idea they thought it would all go very fast, which was why my doctor went and ate lunch before breaking my water. It was also why the nurse had the entire room ready right before they broke my water. She had the delivery light down, the baby crib ready, and all of the equipment out. I didn't feel that way though since, surely, even if I was 10cm in five minutes I would push for hours like with Brooke and Molly. The contractions were almost immediate as soon as she broke my water. That did the trick! They were super painful so I made sure to tell the nurse to call the anesthesiologist and he came up at 1:15. My favorite person! Things went downhill from here. He did the numbing solution and then tried to put the epidural in but it was super uncomfortable and painful, which is normally isn't. It is so hard to describe the feeling of an epidural. Lots of pressure and nerve spasms! He kept asking where I felt it, left or right side, but it was so hard to decide. My pressure dropped to 60 something over 42 and I was sure I was going to pass out. The nurse was patting my face with a cold cloth and Dustin was holding a throw up pan in front of my face. He used more numbing solution and finally got the epidural in. My relief was short lived because it only numbed my left side.

My contractions felt almost worse now. My left side was numb but on the right I had extreme lower back pain and a sharp pain my pubic bone. My nurse, plus the charge nurse, came running in because baby's heart rate dropped with every contraction and they had to turn me. The charge nurse decided with my pain and her heart decelerations she must be sunny side up. I almost started crying. At 2:00 they had me push the button that administered more medicine into the epidural and they went to call him back up to fix it. He gave me a different medicine and I was numb in seconds. PHEW! Relief, finally. He left at 2:30 and they checked me.

7cm. Time to call our birth photographer in! She was already in the hospital so she was back in the room by 2:50. She put my wide angle lens on and we joked about keeping the windows wide open for the natural light [which we ended up doing]. In a minute or so I started feeling extreme pressure. My nurse was in checking on me because of the heart decelerations in baby and I told her. She said she doubted I was complete already but she'd check since I said it was so bad. She went to check me and her eyes got wide. She looked at me and said, "I can't even get my fingers in! She is right there."

I asked, "Does that mean I'm 10cm?" And she laughed.

She told me to hold still and she would get my doctor. Our photographer, Heathyr, got back in the corner and got a chair to stand on. Dustin stood next to her and by my side. Everything felt so confusing. The baby nurse was in there, my doctor came in to scrub up. I kept thinking, "WHY are they in here? I have to push for an hour or two, and then the doctor comes in!" They had my bed apart in seconds and my doctor was already asking me to push. It was hard to know when because my epidural had just been fixed so I was completely numb. I didn't even know if I was doing a good job. After three pushes she had me take a break. Then we started three more. During the third push she screamed at the nurse to get a vacuum. I didn't really have time to process that just that suddenly my doctor was telling me I needed to push again, and hard. She screamed that they needed the nurse back, and she came sprinting. Two more pushes and Paige was out. I think this was the number of pushes, but in all it was 10 minutes.

She was super purple. The doctor held her for maybe ten or fifteen seconds to see if they needed to put her on my chest or give her right to the nurses. She started crying and they handed her over to me. Later the doctor said that the cord was wrapped around her neck and she had stopped breathing, but I did a great job pushing her out quickly. I was still in shock that she was already here! AND she was face down. Another big surprise.

Our hospital does an hour of kangaroo care so Paige laid on my chest for that whole time, just hanging out. She kept sucking on her hands but I was in a horrible position for breastfeeding since I was on my back. I had a first degree tear, which is really nothing. The doctor worked on that. Heathyr came around to the other side and took pictures. Dustin came around to see her face. They put my bed up so that I could breastfeed her. Right at an hour they took her and did her measurements and such.

8lbs 1oz and 20.5 inches long. I thought she would be much bigger for some reason since we were almost to my due date.

They got her all bundled up and gave her to Dustin. Heathyr took a few more pictures and left, and then it was time for the nurse to get me up and cleaned and get my IV and epidural line out.

They couldn't bathe her until she had two temps about 98 degrees, and that didn't happen until about 6:15. We had thought the girls would be there by then but they hadn't arrived yet. Jena, Wes, and Bayleigh came around that time... just in time for her to be done! Grammy and the girls came a little while later. It was all chaos for awhile and then everyone left and the check ups slowed down and we were finally alone for the night.

The first night is generally peaceful so I tucked Paige onto my chest and cuddled and loved on her. She slept well at night but the nurses actually don't prefer that and woke me up to feed her. We had random visitors through out the day and Grammy brought the girls back so we could take some pictures and they could hold her more.

The second night was chaos, as expected. Paige wanted to be fed pretty consistently from 9pm to 3am. I had been awake for 22 hours by the end and was starting to hallucinate, so I didn't even want to hold her. I raised my bed up high and put my hand in her crib to calm her.

Wednesday we just sat around and relaxed and waited to go home. I LOVE being in the hospital but by the end of 48 hours we were getting bored and were ready to get out of there. They did the 48 hour blood test at 3:30 and we left just before 5!

Welcome to the world Paige! You are oh so loved by mommy, daddy, and your big sisters!

38 Weeks!

Pregnancy: 38 weeks

Weight Gain: I still don't know EXCEPT when I went in yesterday she said I hadn't gained anything since the week before, so that is pretty good considering how much babies gain toward the end.

Sleep: The worst part of pregnancy at this point. With my SPD I generally wake up in pain and it is excruciating to get out of bed to use the bathroom. I also end up on my back every hour or so and that wakes me up.... on top of false labor contractions. I honestly think sleep deprivation with a newborn around is easier, haha

Gender: Girl

Name: Paige Taylor

Feeling: Pretty good except for at night.  My face is getting really puffy and my eyes are basically slits for parts of the day. It is getting harder to get around so I spent more time than usual sitting or laying down. My belly also gets in the way all the time now. I've lost all depth perception where it is concerned.

Health: I've had several blood draws recently due to low platelets. IF they choose to not return to a normal number by delivery, I cannot have an epidural. EEK! I need to start mentally preparing for that now.

Belly: Growing. :)

What I am looking forward to: Sleeping on my belly.

What I miss: Being able to bend forward with ease. Even using the restroom can be an issue.

Overall I feel pretty good and if she decides to stay in until her due date, I think the next two weeks will still FLY BY. The days sure have been recently. Brooke and Molly have been home this week which has been fun but, man, they keep me busy. My house is consistently a complete mess, my stress level is raised, and we are cooped up! They will be staying home with me this summer. HELP!

37 Weeks + Thoughts

Pregnancy: 37 weeks

Weight Gain: ???

Sleep: ROUGH. I wake up a lot. Sometimes it is before of pregnancy, and other times it is something like.... the dog wants to get on our bed even though he knows he isn't allowed, or the battery in the smoke alarm died, or a child feels the need to tell me they are using the potty.

Gender: Girl

Name: Paige Taylor

Feeling: Sore. Every time I walk I feel like she might fall out.

Health: Blood pressure is still up and down but we've been able to manage it, thankfully.

Belly: I swear it grows a half inch a day. She dropped so it is also lower... and generally in the way.

What I am looking forward to: Walking with out looking like I spent 9 hours straight on a horse.

What I miss: Feeling like myself. Don't get me wrong, I love being pregnant, but toward the end a woman just wants some parts of her body back!

OKAY. Now on to some thoughts on labor. 

Brooke came at 36w4d. Molly came at 37w1d. I am 37w1d today. Of course, a lot of people are starting to wonder if I've had the baby yet just because of my history. Sometimes I even wonder if I'm having this baby. ;)

The thing with the early births is that they both came in completely different ways, so there is no way for an OB to look at me and say I just happen to birth babies early. With Brooke my water broke and they had to use pitocin to start my labor. With Molly I went into actual labor and they broke my water at 10cm. 

Either way, everything at the end is a mind game. It's like the beginning of pregnancy where you think you could be pregnant but you are not sure because the symptoms can also match the "time of the month" symptoms. At the end everything just feels uncomfortable. I've never gone past 37 weeks to know if the feelings are normal, or if they are signs that labor is imminent. Therefore I don't have much of an answer for when labor might start.

I do know that no matter what, she'll be here in less than a month. And if she does choose to stay nice and comfy inside of me until April 25th, time will still fly by. 

I had an appointment yesterday and I am 3cm and 50% effaced, so that is less progress I have to make once labor does start. :internet high five:

36 Weeks

Putting this out there a little late! I wanted to wait until I had my maternity pictures to share AND I've been working on my health. When I got to the doctor on Friday my blood pressure was up and they had me lay down before taking it again. Thankfully it went back down. They did some blood work anyway and I go back tomorrow for another check up. If my blood pressure is still up I'll go twice a week, otherwise I can stick to once a week.

We also had an ultrasound sound. Check out those cheeks!

In other news, I'm 2cm dilated and 50% effaced. Whoa! I think maybe Miss. P wants to greet the world before her due date, just like her big sisters did. ;)

Pregnancy: 36 weeks

Weight Gain: I've started getting on the scale backwards so who knows.

Sleep: Broken up as usual. I generally wake up 2-4 times to use the bathroom, and each time I switch which side I am laying on. My hips get so sore if I lay on one for too long. That makes me feel old.

Gender: Girl

Name: Paige Taylor

Feeling: Tired. Sore. Done.

Health: Blood pressure has been up and down and up and down so that has been quite the mind game.

Belly: Getting bigger! And more in the way. Sometimes I forget just where it is an get it caught or end up places too small for me, haha. I've learned that getting around the laundry room has quite the complication involved.

What I am looking forward to: Labor and delivery. I don't know why, but I love being up there!

What I miss: Sleep. Not that I'll be getting more of that any time soon.

Now for some more maternity pictures, taken by the ever amazing House of Harkless.